Friday Fuzz.

18 Nov 2011 1 Comment

by mmariluh in Just Blog!, Life, Me, NaBloPoMo

 

Why is it that all I can see is the storm, when the rainbow is RIGHT THERE?

It’s so stressful. All of the ingredients for happiness are there. And yet, that one speck of darkness overshadows all of the beauty.

 

I want to will it away. I want to enjoy the beauty in the storm, to enjoy the rainbow and the lightning and the gorgeous scenery and the beautiful company.

 

The dark side still manages to win and push down all of the beauty and strength.

 

There is no way for me to get inspired and post.

 

I can enjoy. I can have nice moments. I can be happy playing with my husband. I can be ok while busy at work.

 

I sit to write? All the sadness overflows, the storm clouds show and I’m left with nothing but rain.

 

The anxiety is there every single minute. But while I’m busy? I can forget it. I sit down to do something healing and it just shows, full strength.

 

I am lucky. I am blessed. I love. I am IN love. I should be happy.

 

Why can’t I make it connect? Why can’t I will it to be true?

 

The weekend will be easier. I will be with my husband.

 

I will put up some little quickie posts and then Monday night is Breaking Dawn.

 

I need to get this under control and soon.