The lazy perfectionist.

This is me, kind of… (Click for source and to learn how to draw me)

What a combination.

I’m surprised how I can be fighting and fighting and fighting for something to be absolutely perfect one moment while NOT caring at all if there is a mountain of my shoes*** building at the bottom of the stairs instead of making its way up to my closet like it should…

***NOTE: this example is PURELY hypothetical. If you come to my house and try to find said mountain, it will NOT be there. Probably.

Yes, I am a living, breathing oxymoron. You may meet me and only know the lazy messy me and just think “HOW can this woman live her life so untangled and free?”. Well, joke’s on you! Just spend some time with me, make small talk and you will see the monster come out. Oh, you will. I have no doubt in my mind that you will.

The monster is scary. She looses all notion of what is going on and just centers on that ONE thing being PERFECT and, not only that, but she also focuses on everyone around NEEDING to understand WHY it is perfect only THAT way. Oh, man, it’s ugly.

Love is a truly wonderful thing. Some people love so deep and so well that they can take the monster and still love her. It is truly a wonder how sometimes I don’t even realize the monster has come out until it’s too late. Because, the monster? She can’t realize that she has hurt or been cruel to you.

I wish I were joking.

I love. A lot.

And most people don’t even know.

The monster is evil and critical and harsh. She will make people think that I am hurtful and that I crave to damage those I love.

It’s horrible knowing you are right to the point you need to fight anyone and everyone to prove it.

It is exhausting.

Not even mentioning the damage the monster does to me…

NaBloPoMo 2011

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